His GRACE BISHOP JOHN OF AMORION

THE FAMILY IS WHERE WE ALL BEGAN OUR LIVES-where we first experience ourselves in relationship to other human beings and to God. It is there within the family structure that we learned how to eat, how to love, how to laugh, how to play, how to talk, how to walk, how to work together, etc. It is also within our family unit that our religious consciousness was quickened, we became aware of our spiritual soul telling us to do good and avoid evil. We came to believe and love God and to talk with Him through prayer, as well as, to learn the most important vocabulary in any language-that being, the religious one which contains such words as God, Jesus, Christ, Theotokos, Saints, etc., as well as going to Church together. Thus, the family has come to be known as the basic unit of society. It is this institution that takes weak, helpless human beings and converts them, little by little, into civilized persons. So much so, that the family is not only the basic unit of our society, but is also the future of the world.

In the American scene, whether one is married or not, there is an ever-growing tendency for the individual to maximize his or her own personal happiness in "doing one's own thing," which is not the Christian way. People lavish money on material objects, pleasures, and travel, constantly in search of excitement or in fulfilling one's fantasy.

Other negative factors to be observed in the American family are the lack of respect for the authority of parents by their children, the failure of imparting the basic moral and social values to the young, the pressures of peer groups on teenagers, the serious consideration of abortion by some, and the general acceptance of contraceptives as a viable and respected way of avoiding childbirth by those who are unmarried. Another factor that has a negative impact on the family are the press and television.

George F. Will in his article, "This Bank Deserves to Fail," which appeared in the July 22, 1982 issue of the "Washington Post" observes that "The founders of a 'sperm bank' for smarties want to take some surprises out of life by planning procreation. - But surprise! The first baby born with that bank's help was born to a mother, who like her current husband, served a prison term for fraud and lost custody of two children by a previous marriage after allegations of child abuse." The sperm bank is another manifestation of the 'quality of life ethic,' which is opposed to the 'sanctity of life ethic.' The supreme Court, which rationalized its 1973 abortion decision in favor of infanticide is of great, devastating consequence."

These symptoms are an expression of the abuse of the principle of freedom, ignoring God's plan for marriage and family, so as to serve one's selfish, well-pleasing desires.

The American family has experienced cultural shifts, as well as that from a strong church-centered family life to a more fragmented secular life, that is, life organized apart from God as if God did not exist. These are, unfortunately, the signs of the time.

Having viewed the dismal status of today's American family, let us now go back in time - to God's plan for marriage and the family. As we know, God created man in His own image and likeness out of love. He created man out of love, because "God is love." (John 1:4-8) What unites god and mankind is love. By the same token, what unites a man and a woman into the state of Holy Matrimony is love. As a further expression of God's love for mankind, in the fullness of time, He allowed His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to assume a human nature. "God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16) God's love was fully revealed in the Incarnation of Jesus Christ. A product of the mutual love of both the husband and wife is children who are a gift from God. As such, they become the family of God.

The Christian family being cognizant of what it is, must fulfill its mission in becoming what it is - a community of love. This community of love is that of a husband and wife, as well as, that of parents and children. Only when love is the chief characteristic of the family can it have life, grow and witness its "reason for being." The family has the responsibility to protect, share, and witness this love to others. Parents are qualified spokesmen of the Christian family by virtue of the Divine Grace, which was imparted upon them by the Holy Spirit when they were joined together in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. As a consequence of this Divine Grace, the celebrant evokes upon them a blessing, "God blessed them and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it"'. (Genesis 1:28)

Again, in (Genesis 2:18), it says ''And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." These words are repeated twice in the prayers recited by the celebrant Bishop or Priest in the Greek Orthodox Church during the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

Also, noted from (Genesis 2:23) are Adam's words, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." This new relationship between a man and a woman in the Judeo Christian context requires that it be similar to Christ for the Church.

What do you think about the church being "subject" to Christ -is it a good thing or a bad thing? Do you feel the same way about a wife being "subject" to her husband?

In (Colossians 3:18), what basic areas does the Apostle Paul cite for a wife's obedience to her husband? "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

Also, in (I Peter 3:1-4) what is a wife's best tactic toward a husband who has no interest in spiritual things? "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

In (Proverbs 31:10-21) we read what rewards a faithful wife can hope to receive.

Does the submissive role of the wife prohibit her from holding, voicing, strong opinions? At what point should a wife differ to the judgment of her husband? Is there a limit to a wife's obedience to her husband? What are some probable effects on children when the husband/wife roles are confused and reversed? What can a wife do if her husband will not assume leadership in the home?

God's order for children, are enumerated in (Ephesians 6:1-3) "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." What specific promise is made to the obedient child? What is the basis for a father's authority over his child, according to Proverbs 23:22? Also, what would you say to a child who says, "Why should I respect and obey my father, when he is mean, unfair, wicked, etc.? In Proverbs 4:1-27, what basic reason does the father give for the son to obey him? Like Jesus, children are to grow "in wisdom and in stature, and in- favor with God and Man." (Luke 2:52)

At this point, I would like to quote H.I. Marron who writes, "Christian education of children, through which they learned to share in the treasury of the faith, to submit to a healthy discipline in the matter of morals, was the parents' fundamental duty. There was more in this than was contained in the Roman tradition: it was essentially a continuation of the Jewish tradition, which emphasized the importance of the family in the development of religious consciousness. And this duty could not be delegated; the early church would have had sharp words to say about "Christian" parents of today who think that they have done all that is required of them when they have passed their children over to a teacher or an institution!

Westerhoof, in his book "Will Our Children Have Faith?" in distinguishing religion from faith observes that, "You can teach about religion, but you cannot teach people faith. For many today, Christian religion as taught in our Church Schools stands between them and God."

Fr. Andrew Greeley found that the religiousness of adult behavior was strongest when upbringing was in a family where the faith atmosphere was alive. "If our data from the past are any indication of the present situation, Catholic education is virtually wasted on three-fourths of those in Catholic schools because of the absence of a sufficiently religious family milieu." ("THE EDUCATION OF CATHOLIC AMERICANS" 1968, page 116).

Fr. Andrew Greely in his book: The New Agenda 1975, pg. 242, states, "An analysis of the parochial school data by my colleague William McCready leaves no doubt at all that the most important predictor of religious performances of children is the religious behavior of their parents (and particularly their fathers) and the quality of the relationship between their mothers and fathers..." The study, "Religion and American Youth." By Potvin, Hoge and Nelson concludes, "Nonetheless there appears to be no substitute for a religious home environment and for religious instruction if adolescents are to remain committed to their religious heritage." (pg.21) Michael Novak in his article on the family which appeared in "Harper's Magazine," likewise concludes that "The family is a stronger agency of educational success than the school."

In retrospect, let us look at what constituted a good Greek Orthodox family some 25 years ago:

1. It had both parents.

2. Both parents were Greek Orthodox.

3. There were 3 or more children.

4. Mom was at home.

5. This was a Parish-centered family deriving its educational, athletic, social and spiritual life from the Parish.

6. There was regular church attendance on Sundays.

7. There was fruitful attendance at the Catechism School and Greek Language School.

8. There was much parent-child contact.

9. Parents had strict control over influences of their children.

10. There was a slower pace of life.

11. The ultimate judgement of this family was the religious outcome of the children.

12. Family was the protective agency against outside adversities and value systems which endangered this institution.

Whereas, todav's Greek Orthodox family has the following characteristics:

1. It might have 2 parents.

2. In slightly more than half of today's, Greek Orthodox families both parents are Orthodox.

3. There are fewer children.

4. Mom will work outside the home sometimes during the child-rearing years.

5. The Catechism School continues to have greater attendance than the Greek Language School.

6. There are many more activities to engage in outside the Parish.

7. Peer pressure oftentimes replaces parents' authority.

8. Parents and children experience a growing feeling of boredom, apathy, and emptiness.

9. There is an ever-decreasing amount of parent-child - contact. Divorce, working mothers, absentee fatherhood because of job demands, television and increased activity schedules outside the home by children severely cuts down parent-child time together. Eighth grade boys average 15 minutes alone with their fathers in a 2-week period.

Parents have little control over influences on children today. Although parents remain the primary influence, peer pressure takes over after the age of 12 and television remains the second most pervasive child shaper today.

10. The ultimate judgment of today's Greek Orthodox family is their career accomplishments.

However, I do not want to leave you with the impression that the Orthodox family is no longer able to utilize its spiritual and religious resources, so as to confront and combat the current trends which seek to undermine and bring about the breakdown of the family. The Orthodox family not only has spiritual resources at its disposal, but, must witness and evangelize and share them with other families, as it has been done in the past.

The Orthodox family as every family is God's family, for we are all created in the image and likeness of God. We are all brothers and sisters of our heavenly Father who is God. As a family, we are members of the Kingdom of God, which St. Paul says in Romans 14:17, "for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." You cannot create this peace and joy. But you can discover it and experience it in your spouse, your parents, your children, your brothers and sisters. Here we see the priestly and kingly mission of the Ecclesia in its fullest dimension.

This oneness in love as family being lived, as a consequence is witnessing both in word and deed the Orthodox faith believed by all its members, as St. Vincent of Lerins states "ubique, quod semper, quod ab omnibus creditum est" -"What has been good believed everywhere, always and by all." Witnessing and evangelizing one's faith begins at home. By praying together, by reading Holy Scriptures and the Church Fathers together, by living the sacramental life together, -this sharing of these religious experiences and practices achieves communication on all levels within the family. The prophetic role of the family is expressed by the sharing of knowledge of the Orthodox Faith, and witnessing it.

The extended family is the Parish family by striving for unity of faith in love and concord, as it becomes a sanctified community. The sanctified community becomes visible as it engages together in a dialogue with God through prayer and love, through Holy Communion and living our Orthodox Faith according to His commandments. The sanctified community is a community of service to God and to others as is required by us by Jesus Christ Who gave us the "commandment of love." The Parish family must bear witness Of its oneness-unity truly as an Ecclesia, one body made up of many parts. Unless people can see that the Parish family is one body in love with Jesus Christ, and with one another, the Orthodox Faith will not be credible to them as a viable life-style. Although the Church is one, "we have many parts in the one body, and all these parts have different functions." (Romans 12:4)

In conclusion, the basis for a viable Orthodox family is the relationship of one another with Jesus Christ - wherein truly each member of the family can say, "it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me." (Galatians 2:20). We know that God loves families based on the biblical account of Noah and his family (Genesis 7: 1) as well as, the jailer of Phillippi who was saved. (Acts 16:31). Small children can enter into a spiritual experience with Christ, for Jesus said, ''Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3), and "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6).

Only if we as individuals and as families commit ourselves in love to Jesus Christ will we be spiritually enriched and will be able to have a religious impact on our society, so that a spiritual transfiguration, a theosis of the entire world will come to pass wherein the nations of the world will live in peace, love and harmony. God bless you, one and all!

His Eminence Bishop John of Amorion was the first American born bishop in the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese. He was ordained to the diaconate in 1955, and later became the first Bishop of the Atlanta Diocese and served there for 9 more years in that role. He has also served as president of the St. Photios Shrine. Bishop Amorion is now retired and lives in Atlanta, Georgia.